


Candlelight

by booksareourlove



Category: All For The Game - Nora Sakavic
Genre: Alternate Universe - Coffee Shops & Cafés, Alternate Universe - College/University, Asexual Character, Candlelight, F/F, Fluff, Jean is Boyfriend Material, Jeremy is asexual, M/M, aftgcelebrations, all foxes appear at some point, high on madness, i'm SOFT, jerejeanweek, lailvarez was meant to be, let's waste time, seeing is believing, this is about aesthetics, this is fluff okay
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-02-04
Updated: 2018-02-04
Packaged: 2019-03-13 07:37:49
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,159
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13565895
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/booksareourlove/pseuds/booksareourlove
Summary: Jerejean AU-in which Laila, Jeremy’s best friend and flatmate, decides that she needs a change of scenery-she has a crush, but shhh-pastel aesthetic? what's that? emo is the future-Jeremy will not ask about satanism-he will ask that cute barista guy if he wants to come to a movie night





	Candlelight

**Author's Note:**

> Hi, thanks for stopping by!  
> Disclaimer: the perception of the "emo lifestyle" is purely fictional and therefore not accurate, please don't be offended  
> Written for Jerejean Week 2018! The promt for today is Candlelight, which is way there's candles.  
> This was supposed to not be much longer than 3k but here I am, sitting on a pile of fluff and fox cameos  
> (Alternatively titled Cloaked in Shadows and Secrecy from the song Warrior by Beth Crowley because this was meant to be a lot darker but okay.)

 

“Do it for the aesthetic!”

Jeremy groaned and tried not to bang his head on his art history essay that’s due – today. Well, shit.

Laila Dermott was jumping excitedly up and down in their small living room, dressed in a black legging and an old, gray-ish shirt that may have once been black. She seemed unreal in the light apartment, with the spring sun streaming through the windows and the pastel pink curtains. Not to mention the wall that Jeremy had painted lilac and the home made pastel rainbow flag hanging from the door. The cream couch was placed on top of a light green, fluffy rug, and the furniture in the entire apartment was light brown or white.

“Laila,” he said slowly, “my _bed sheets_ are yellow. _Your_ bed sheets are yellow. Everything in this apartment is pastel and soft and what you’re proposing is absolutely unthinkable.”

“My bed sheets are pink right now thank you very much, unlike you I change them every now and then.” She huffed, but instead of dropping it she furrowed her eyebrows in concentration. “And that’s exactly what I’m talking about! We need a change!”

“But... black? Emo aesthetic? Can’t it be, I don’t know, a Gryffindor red-and-gold aesthetic? Or some kind of neon rainbows?” Jeremy knew: He had lost the argument as soon as Laila had decided to wear that ratty old shirt pretending to know what she was doing. He also knew that there was no chance of changing her focus, he simply knew her too well for that. He dropped his head on his homework. “And of course I change my bed sheets,” he muttered dejectedly, “I have lemon yellows and gold yellows and orange yellow bed sheets...”

“First of all, you’re a Hufflepuff, so it would have to be a yellow-and-black aesthetic. Which makes emo the perfect choice, right?” Jeremy rolled his eyes but Laila continued. “We’ve been keeping the pastel up since we moved in together, Jerms. I want change, and you need change. Now be a nice best friend and accompany me on my birthday shopping tour.”

Jeremy finally looked up and saw Laila smiling her ‘I won and you know it’ smile. Of course she would use the gift cards she had gotten for her birthday last week on this. Of course. He groaned and let his head drop again. Art history would have to wait until later.

 

* * *

 

After three hours of endless black, black and more black accompanied by the soft sounds of heavy metal in various punk and goth stores, Jeremy finally sat down to write his essay in his bed, before once again daring to look at the heap of black clothing that Laila persuaded him to buy. It was so unfair. He _liked_ pastel. But he understood his friend too. Sometimes it was too much faint colours, to a point where it just seemed fake. Like his life was a bad tumblr blog who had lost its followers just like he’d lost his boyfriend in freshman year.

Still, black clashed with his skin tone and with his hair, and loving pastel wasn’t a choice really, and neither was being ace. How was Laila such an understanding person? And at the same time so horrible? (He was pretty sure she had bought him a _choker,_ of all things emo.) (And he was ignoring that.)

The next day was a Sunday, so Jeremy took his time making breakfast. “I’m in mourning,” he told Laila crisply when she came out of her room, in her new black pyjamas. “I miss the pastel pink curtains.” She had stayed up until well past midnight to do some changes to the apartment, the curtains being the most obvious. Well, the curtains and the black candles standing on literally every surface, just waiting to be lit and transforming the apartment into the Ultimate Emo Paradise. Or was it hell? Were emos Satanists or – Jeremy decided to stop that train of thought.

“That’s exactly what an existential emo would say, my dear student of the dark arts.” Laila had the nerve to laugh in his face and steal the last pancake. As if she could read his thoughts. Which she probably could.

“The audacity,” he murmured, but smiled at his friend’s cheerfulness.

“We’re going out, today, actually,” she informed him while chewing with her mouth open. “There’s this emo cafe just outside of campus with this really hot waiter, and I need you to be my wingman.”

Jeremy choked on his water. “So that’s the reason for all of this? A girl?”

Laila tried her best to look offended. “Oh, come on! As if you don’t think that tall, beautiful people dressed in black are to die for!” Her voice was almost whiny. Almost.

“You’re blushing,” Jeremy told her, but didn’t deny the accusation. Being asexual didn’t mean he was also blind. “Also, did you already order a satanic bible online? Maybe it’ll give you dating advice.”

Laila’s eyes were wide open as she looked at him. “Satanism,” she whispered.

“Hm?” Jeremy stood up to make his roommate more pancakes.

“Satanism! That’s it! It’s _perfect!”_

He turned to her. “Oh no, this is not happening,” he started, but was interrupted by her screaming and running into her room to probably order a satanic bible online.

 

* * *

 

“Renee would be so disappointed in us,” Jeremy sighed as he looked at the storefront of a small cafe that afternoon. It looked homey, he had to admit, even though there was too much black and definitely too much orange. He wore black skinny jeans and a black sweater from the hopeless shopping tour, and only by sheer luck did he avoid wearing the choker Laila had nearly choked him with.

“Come on in, then!” Laila said happily, opening the door to let them in. She was wearing a short black dress and fishnets, something Jeremy didn’t understand (it wasn’t winter anymore but it was still sweater weather) and _she_ was wearing a choker with absolutely no shame. Well, the choker wasn’t actually new for her; she just used to wear them in pastel colours or with flower designs. “Renee is an actual angel, you know, I’m sure she will respect out choices of faith.”

 _“Faith_ as in, your new love for some guy, what was his name again? Lucius? Lucifer?” He laughed as Laila punched his arm.

“I’ll have you know that I’m only a lesbian and not yet a satanist!” Her giggles came to a sudden halt when she caught sight of the cashier, a tall, Latina woman with long black hair and a black apron with an orange paw print on her chest. “Oh fuck me,” she whispered.

Jeremy, who might not fully understand sexual attraction, still knew that this must be the girl his friend had to have been talking about. He gently pushed her to the front desk and upon his best friend’s radio silence just smiled at the cashier and her scary staring with her sharp eyeliner and black lipstick and expressionless face.

“One large caramel latte with extra caramel and soy milk for me, to go, and one – what’s the most emo drink you have?” Jeremy felt Laila’s elbow in his ribs and looked at her, still smiling. “What?”

“I, uh, um” she stuttered and turned into a tomato as the cashier turned her eyes on her.

“So like, a large hot chocolate with extra whipped cream?” The cashier’s voice was smooth and her lips stretched into a smile and if Jeremy didn’t pity Laila so much right now he’d probably notice the blush on the cashier’s face.

“Fuck me,” Laila whispered again. Jeremy dutifully pulled out his wallet and handed some bills over, seeing that Laila was incapable of functioning.

“Name?” The cashier asked in a bored tone, but her hand holding the marker trembled.

 _Great,_ Jeremy thought. So she wasn’t only a scary, emo lesbian, she also wasn’t immune to Laila’s – well, if you could call it charms. He sighed loudly. “Her name is Laila, but she would like to be addressed by the digits of your phone number.”

“Are you hitting on me... for her?” The cashier’s gaze turned somewhat deathly, but the entire cafe seemed like an outtake from a bad Halloween movie anyway – um, which didn’t make anything better by the way, Jeremy hated horror movies.

Laila stuttered something that involved the words heck and frick. “... and this is my best friend and roommate, Jerm!” Jeremy smiled at his nickname, but Laila just glared at him.

“Call me Alvarez,” the cashier said with a raised eyebrow and handed back some change before promptly turning to a guy with dreadlocks and a Metallica shirt that Jeremy hadn’t even noticed had come in.

Laila wasted no time pulling Jeremy away from the register to wait for their drinks. Her face was still red, but she was also smiling. “Alvarez,” she echoed in awe. Then she punched Jeremy’s shoulder. “That was really embarrassing of you!”

Jeremy groaned. “You said you needed a wingman!”

Surprisingly, the goth coffee shop was quiet and small, empty except for a few lonely students dressed in all shades of black. It would have soothed his nerves, if the speakers wouldn’t have blasted some crazy guitarist’s musical experiments accompanied by unidentifiable screeching. There were band posters on a wall, none Jeremy had ever heard of before.

He decided to let Laila have her moment in peace and instead watched the other customers. There were the ones that had clearly put an effort into their appearance, with hairstyles that screamed _too much hairspray_ and makeup that they probably would take longer to take off than they had spent putting it on. Then there were people who seemed like actual vampires, with dishevelled hair and black sweaters, hoods pulled up, seeming like they had just woken up.

“Large hot chocolate with extra whipped cream for whoever flirted with my co-worker just a few minutes ago,” a deep voice interrupted Jeremy’s thoughts and Laila’s whatever she was feeling right now. “And a large caramel latte with extra caramel and soy milk for... what the fuck is a germ?”

“That’s us!” Laila danced to the small bar, where a tall guy with black hair put two cups.

He didn’t fit into the two categories Jeremy had spotted, as he was wearing the shop’s apron above a casual long sleeved black shirt and his hair was styled up instead of artfully covering his eyes. He wasn’t wearing any makeup, but his grey eyes were piercing nonetheless. A bird was tattooed on his cheek, and swirls of something else peeked through the collar of his shirt.

“And you probably mean Jeremy here, people often get his name wrong.”

Jeremy smiled at the guy who simply raised an eyebrow before turning back to finish another order, showing of his tattooed neck.

“Seriously, does every emo know how to do the eyebrow thing?” Laila sighed as she dragged a still smiling Jeremy out. “I really need to practise doing that. Is that something you can learn? I never heard of people learning it. There’s just people who can and people who can’t and I’m the one who obviously can’t but like, I can change that right? There has to be a tutorial on YouTube. Jeremy you still with me?”

“Hm? Yeah,” he said.

She just looked at him as they were walking toward a bench surrounded by trees.

“What?”

“You’re smiling. Why are you smiling?”

“I am? Why shouldn’t I?”

“Is it the guy?”

Jeremy furrowed his brows. “What guy?”

Laila’s smile didn’t look at all calming. “It’s the guy! Who knew you had a thing for tall, handsome and emo?”

Jeremy sipped his latte and tuned her out. “What are you talking about...”

“Well, okay, I did know you have a thing for tall and handsome, but emo? Wow. Is it the tattoos? I mean, even I can’t deny that guy is aesthetically pleasing, so... and he’s also gay. Did you notice the homosexual vibes in the entire cafe? Lucifer, that’s my new favourite place on –“ She suddenly went very still.

“Lucifer?” Jeremy asked, because he wanted to change the subject and because, well, Laila hadn’t talked about Alvarez until now and that meant she would scream any second now. That’s when he noticed she was staring at her cup. “Laila? Are you okay?”

“HOLY SHIT SHE GAVE ME HER NUMBER!”

 

* * *

 

After a hectic morning of English Literature class Jeremy sighed contentedly as he collapsed into his chair next to Renee just moments before their Philosophy professor entered. Sometimes talking to people was exhausting, and Jeremy didn’t like thinking of conversations as exhausting, especially if the people were nice, and his friends in his English class definitely were nice, and it wasn’t their fault, but Jeremy was happy that Renee sometimes liked silence, too.

“Hello, Jeremy,” Renee greeted him quietly.

“Hello, Renee,” he said back, because Renee was probably his second best friend and a greeting couldn’t hurt much, even if he wanted to drown in silence for a while?

“Interesting... choice of fashion,” she remarked, and Jeremy wasn’t looking at her but he heard the smile on her lips. He couldn’t, for the life of him, remember how Laila persuaded him to buy a sweater with an actual skull printed on the front. Black, naturally.

Luckily, professor Rhemann started his class then, effectively saving him from giving an answer. After a few minutes of talking about meditation and philosophy he was reading out a Buddhist text and announced they would spend today’s lesson meditating. Rhemann was a bit eccentric, but Jeremy was more than happy to follow his example: sit cross legged on the floor and relax in a calming meditation.

He couldn’t deny that he was feeling a lot better when he opened his eyes and felt the smile on his lips.

“Wanna grab a coffee?” Renee asked gently. They had their free period together and would usually go to the cafeteria. “I know this nice cafe, maybe you’ll like it. Laila would probably like it, too.” She added thoughtfully.

“Sure! I could actually use a coffee right now, or always.” Jeremy didn’t even have to think about it. “And Laila actually has a lunch date with a barista today. She couldn’t shut up about it last night.”

Renee chuckled fondly as they walked out of the building in silence, and were greeted by warm sunlight but cold everything else. It wasn’t until they literally stopped in front of the small emo cafe that Jeremy realised where they were going.

“How do you know this place?” He said in awe. Renee was the purest person he knew, valuing kindness above everything. Her clothes always had a conservative vibe, and he hadn’t ever seen her without the cross necklace her adoptive mother had given her. Sure, she bleached her hair to a blinding white and dyed the tips in the colours of a pastel rainbow – the reason Laila had originally wanted to befriend her was that last detail.

“Oh, the manager and I are good friends.” With that, she pushed the door open and Jeremy followed her inside.

The first thing he noticed was that there were more customers around than the day before. The second thing he noticed was that Alvarez wasn’t at the register, but instead the tall guy with the tattoo on his cheek. Something was significantly different though, but he only realised that it was the smile on the guy’s face when he greeted Renee by name.

“Hello, Jean,” she said in that angelic way of hers. “This is –“

“Jeremy, I know,” Jean replied and Jeremy was surprised that the small smile stayed on his face when he turned to him. “His friend is actually on a date with Alvarez, that’s why I’m here and not in the back.”

“Oh, I can’t even decide which of the two is luckier, then,” Renee giggled.

Jean smiled even wider at that and tapped on the touch screen of the register. “The usual? Large Darjeeling to stay?” Renee nodded and he looked at Jeremy. “A large caramel latte, was it?”

“With extra caramel and soy milk, please,” he returned the smile. He was probably grinning way too much to seem like a normal person right now, but his terrible morning started to turn into a great day.

“Andrew will bring the drinks to your table,” Jean said after they’d paid.

“It’s been nice to talk to you, Jean,” Renee said.

“Happy to meet you,” Jeremy added and followed Renee to a seat by the window. “I didn’t know you had connections in the... emo world, or whatever this is,” he said while sitting down.

“Oh, I met my girlfriend here.” Her smile got so wide her eyes closed and with the sun pooling through the window, her hair looked like a rainbow halo.

“Allison? No offense, but she really doesn’t seem like, you know, this kind of existential?” Jeremy furrowed his eyebrows. Allison was a fashion major he had only met twice, and he clearly remembered that she always looked like she had a vogue photo shoot scheduled. Like, a summer vogue photo shoot, full of, well, everything not emo.

Renee actually laughed at this. “God, you look like a cute confused puppy, Jerms,” she pretended to wipe away a tear. “Allison had an... emo phase, maybe? And well, I’m friends with Andrew, the manager here.”

Their quickly awkward turning conversation was interrupted by their drinks being put in front of their faces. Jeremy looked up to see a blond boy, about five feet tall and wearing black armbands and a tank top beneath his apron. He lowered his eyes that were coated in eye shadow at Jeremy in a passive aggressive way.

“Who’s this,” he said, sounding gloriously bored.

“Hello Andrew,” Renee smiled, “this is Jeremy, he’s in my philosophy class and a good friend of mine.”

“Hi,” Jeremy said, smiling despite the hostile glare.

That’s when the door opened and a familiar person walked in, flanked by another small guy, this one with red hair and wearing an oversized orange sweater.

 _“JEREMY! IT’S SO NICE TO SEE YOU!”_ Kevin’s voice boomed through the small cafe and then he was hugging Jeremy awkwardly. Embarrassed, he took a step back. “Um, sorry.”

“It’s okay!” Jeremy slowly felt his cheeks hurting from smiling so wide, but he didn’t see Kevin often these days. “It’s nice to see you too, Kevs.”

Andrew and Kevin’s friend were suddenly nowhere to be seen, and Kevin excused himself and went over to the register.

“You know Kevin?”

Renee’s curious voice brought Jeremy back from his momentary confusion. “Um, yeah, he was a huge fan of my High School’s Exy team? You know, I played as a striker.”

“Really? Me too! I was a goalie though.” This time, they both giggled together, and Jeremy was really glad he knew someone as amazing as Renee.

 

* * *

 

The next day, he couldn’t stop thinking about a certain emo’s smile. Jean.

Laila and Alvarez were good, but to Laila’s infinite disappointment they hadn’t kissed yet. Every time Jeremy so much as asked, she turned into a live tomato, so he didn’t pry. (He also did not ask about the Satanism.)

On Wednesday, he caught himself googling pick up lines for coffee shop baristas instead of doing research for another paper. He was in the library, sitting across from Laila who was wearing way too much eyeliner to look like a healthy human. Not that he minded, he just still wasn’t used to the new black pillows on the sofa at home, and the black curtains freaked him out more than he liked to admit.

That morning, he had accidentally knocked over Laila’s make up kit on the sink, because he couldn’t remember Laila even owning that much make up in the first place. The loud clattering had woken him up at least. He sighed and let his head sink towards the table.

“Jerm? You okay?”

He sighed. “Just tired, I guess.”

“Hmm,” his friend said. “What about a movie night on Friday? I was thinking of a party, you know, invite Alvarez, eat cake and all...”

“If you’re planning on performing an exorcism please do that without me present,” he replied, thinking of the black book with the 666 printed that lied on their coffee table. (He had promised himself to never ever open it.)

“No! I mean like, just a small thing, we’ll invite Renee too! And, I don’t know, light the candles and have tea together and eat unhealthy snacks while watching a horror movie...” Her voice was gradually getting quieter.

“No horror movies,” Jeremy stated. “And I want to invite Jean.”

 _“Yes!”_ Laila said excitedly, and was shushed by a student sitting a few seats away. “I _knew_ you liked him!”

“What? How?” Jeremy lifted his head to stare at her, making sure to look as confused as he felt.

Laila looked confused right back at him. “Because on Sunday you smiled the entire evening, even when I didn’t shut up about Alvarez? And the next day, the first thing you said to me after classes was _‘Jean, his name is flipping Jean and his smile is –‘”_

“Okay, I get it,” Jeremy groaned and let his head fall on to table once more. “He might be cute and I want to befriend him?”

Laila furrowed her brows at that, deep in thought. “You know that being asexual doesn’t stop you from being in a loving relationship, right? I mean, I only met that Jean guy once and he’s also friends with Alvarez, and even if he’s not gay he’s a decent guy. But he’s gay, okay, I know these things. So don’t be afraid, okay? And don’t think less of yourself.”

“Why are you so good at feelings? And how does a gaydar even work? I want one,” Jeremy whined, but he felt the knot in his chest he hadn’t realised was there loosen.

Laila giggled. “I guess I’m just awesome, bro, and – oh, _shit,_ I need to go, I’m late to a date, bye!” And she was gone.

Jeremy sighed. The emo aesthetic was wearing him down a little, he supposed. He was happy for his best friend though, he couldn’t remember the last time Laila was so happy and embarrassed about a girl. And Alvarez had bought her _flowers._ Who did that?

How was he supposed to ask Jean about Friday night? For a moment, he thought about asking Alvarez to ask him, but quickly dismissed the thought. If he wanted to be Jean’s friend then he should start by talking to him. But how? He literally only knew his name because he happened to know Renee. Trying to focus on his paper, he decided to think about everything the next day.

 

* * *

 

The next day Jeremy didn’t have classes until the afternoon, so he decided to just get it over with. Step one: go to the cafe. Step two: hope that Jean would be there. Step three: make a good emo impression. Step four: talk to Jean, invite him to Friday’s movie night. Bait him with cake. Everybody loved cake, right?

But here he was, standing in front of his small closet, realising that he was going to fail at everything. He hadn’t done laundry all week, and he had run out of black sweaters that Laila had forced him to wear every day. (The sweaters that he had had to pinkie swear to wear every day.)

In the end, he settled on an old pair of black ripped skinny jeans and an oversized yellow sweater. _Lucifer help me,_ he thought as he fastened the black choker around his neck, trying to compensate for the yellow that screamed _pastel aesthetic_ from the roof tops. Pocketing his wallet and keys, he left the apartment.

On his way to the cafe everything went well, except that he spotted professor Rhemann across the street and hid behind a trash can for a few minutes. If his professor saw him wearing a choker he would definitely _die._ His stomach felt terrible and his hands were sweaty when he finally pushed the door open and entered the small cafe, that was luckily almost empty at nine in the morning. Jean wasn’t standing behind the register, but he spotted him cleaning one of the coffee machines. Taking a deep breath, he walked up to Alvarez and her scary glare.

“Where’s Laila?” Alvarez asked, not surprising Jeremy, who smiled in return.

“Sleeping. I think she came home late?” Alvarez blushed, so Jeremy smiled as reassuring as he could. “I’ll have you know that if you break her heart I will break you.”

Her eyes actually widened at that. “Wow, she never said you could be this scary,” she murmured.

Jeremy lowered his eyes, which, admittedly, was difficult, as the scary cashier was taller than him.

“Um, I’m not planning on hurting her?” She tried again.

He nodded. “Okay, I’ll have a large caramel latte with extra caramel and soy milk, to go, please.”

He handed over some cash and was satisfied at Alvarez’ perplexed expression.

Instead of sitting down and waiting, he went to the bar and watched Jean make his coffee. His movements were precise and focused, and Jeremy took the time to admire the swirls of something peeking out from his collar. Jean’s hands were big and steady, calloused and some of his fingers looked slightly crooked, like they were broken at some point. Jeremy wasn’t ready for the sting in his chest at the realisation.

“Jeremy,” Jean said and put his finished drink down.

“Jean,” he said. Was it Jeremy’s imagination or did Jean’s eyes pause at his neck? He cleared his throat awkwardly and nervously tugged at the band around his throat. Jean’s eyes were now definitely on his neck.

Jean pulled a pen and a piece of paper from his apron and scribbled something down, before sliding it to sit next to the caramel latte.

Jeremy realised that he was still standing there, probably smiling – hey, it was his default expression, okay? – and staring at Jean’s face. “Um,” he said, smartly.

Jean raised an eyebrow and Jeremy blushed. “Yellow suits you a lot more than black, if I’m being honest.”

“I know right?” Jeremy couldn’t help but agree, “I _know_ it’s really not my colour, even if it somehow fits everybody else! Um, anyways,” he added sheepishly, “my roommate Laila and I are having a movie night tomorrow, and I was wondering if you’re free? Renee usually comes around and I know Laila is going to ask Alvarez and I thought...”

When Jean smiled at Jeremy he felt like everything was going to be okay.

Later that day, after a discussion of twentieth century feminism in philosophy, Renee agreed to come to the movie night and promised to bring a few friends from her dorm.

 

* * *

 

Friday came around like every other day, except that Jeremy texted Jean instead of paying attention in his classes.

 **Jeremy**  
_Hi Jean, this is Jeremy!_

_How are you today?_

**Jean**  
_Hi Jeremy, this is Jean ;)_

_I’m good, I’m at work. Wbu?_

**Jeremy**  
_Class just started but it’s a bit boring_

_And Renee isn’t here_

_I KNOW that Aristotle was the student of Plato who was the student of Socrates_

_Like the professor said this every week since the start of the semester??_

**Jean**  
_Is your major philosophy or something?_

 **Jeremy**  
_Yes, how’d you guess?_

 **Jean**  
_Renee is doing philosophy and you know her so_

 **Jeremy**  
_Right! How did you two even meet?_

_No offence but I was surprised she even knew of the existence of the cafe_

**Jean**  
_She used to work here_

_I know she doesn’t look like it_

_But when I first met her we were both... well, different from now_

**Jeremy**  
_That actually makes sense_

_She said she’s friends with Andrew so_

**Jean**  
_I didn’t know Renee had other “emo” friends, before she brought you to the cafe_

 **Jeremy  
** _Oh, that, yeah,, actually_

_I’m not really emo? I think?_

**Jean**  
_You definitely aren’t_

 **Jeremy**  
_I know right?_

_It was Laila’s idea_

**Jean**  
_?_

 **Jeremy**  
_She just like decided pastel isn’t her thing anymore_

_So she dragged me on a shopping tour_

_And then to your cafe_

_And I think it was all cuz of her crush on Alvarez, but shhh, don’t tell her I said that_

**Jean**  
_Pastel, huh?_

_Cute_

_Jeremy dropped his phone. A few students turned their heads to him but he couldn’t care less in that moment._

**Jeremy**  
_When are you even studying? You’re like always working_

 **Jean**  
_I’m doing evening classes, and I major in art before you ask_

_The drawing kind_

**Jeremy**  
_That is so cool!!!!_

 **Jean**  
_Anyways, there are a lot of people coming right now_

_Lunch break started, I think_

_Ttyl?_

**Jeremy**  
_Okay :)_

_I’m looking forward to it._

Jeremy didn’t think he was breathing. Art major? For a second he wondered if the tattoos had anything to do with it, and if he would ever see the tattoos hidden beneath Jean’s shirts. Then he realised that he was one of the last people in the classroom, so he scrambled to put his blank note sheets and pens into his backpack, trying not to drop his phone again.

“Hi, you’re Jeremy Knox right?”

He looked up and saw a small guy standing just a bit more than an arm’s length in front of his desk. He had red hair and the bluest of eyes, with a burn scar on his cheekbone that made him look older than he probably was. Still, his jaw was sharp and Jeremy surprised himself by thinking the boy was pretty. Then he remembered him from a few days ago, in the cafe, with Kevin, before disappearing with Andrew. “Um, yeah, I’m Jeremy,” he answered the question a bit late.

“Don’t break Jean’s heart,” the stranger said, expressionless but determined.

“I wasn’t planning to?” He said, unsure. _I’m hoping not to,_ he thought.

“Renee invited us, but Andrew and I have different plans so we’re not coming tonight. I’m Neil,” he said, his expression turning into something a bit more forgiving. “Don’t watch horror movies,” and he was turning around and disappeared.

“Um, okay,” Jeremy said to air.

Puzzled, he made his way to the cafeteria, sometimes greeting people he knew from his classes. What the hell?

 

* * *

 

Jeremy carried his lunch to the table where he and Laila usually sat, and was surprised to find Laila already there, talking with a beaming dark skinned boy and someone who looked like Andrew, small and blonde, except that he didn’t, because he was smiling at something Laila was saying.

As usual, he needed a second to understand the person dressed in black was actually Laila, but he shrugged it off. One day he’d get used to it, right?

There was a big 666 in red printed on her sweater. Okay, maybe he wouldn’t get used to it. That was okay, too.

“Hi Laila,” he said when he reached them, sitting down beside her. He smiled at the two boys, “I’m Jeremy.”

“We know!” The dark skinned boy said and continued to grin.

“Jerms, this is Nicky and this is Aaron, he’s Andrew’s twin brother,” Laila said, waving her hand at the dark skinned boy and then at not-Andrew. “They’re friends with Renee.”

“Oh, did she invite you to the movie night? You’re most welcome,” Jeremy said.

“I would love to!” Nicky’s smile turned apologetic. “But I have a date today. You know Erik Klose? That exchange student from Germany?”

Aaron sighed loudly but smiled as he spotted something behind Jeremy. “Look, my girlfriend is here, bye Nicky, bye Jeremy, bye Laila!” Then he was gone.

Jeremy turned around, watching him walk towards a petite girl who was smiling at him and waving.

Nicky sighed, too, and Laila had a concerned look in her eyes.

“Hey, Nicky,” Jeremy said using the most calming voice he could muster, “Laila and I actually run the LGBT PLUS Club on campus, and I’ve never seen you there,” he felt a bit better when Nicky seemed to brighten up a bit, “we meet once a month, on Sunday, to just talk and have coffee together.”

“The next meeting is actually this Sunday,” Laila added, immediately catching on to what Jeremy was doing.

“Oh my god! I totally forgot!” Jeremy screeched. “We still haven’t thought of a topic!”

“There is a topic?” Nicky asked.

“Not on Sunday, but we want to organize a small pride in June,” Laila explained, while outright laughing at Jeremy’s expression. “And we decided to think of topics until Sunday to discuss them together. He wanted to think of something cheesy, that, and I quote, ‘will make you cry tears of happiness.’ You’re a hopeless romantic,” she told Jeremy.

In his defence, that week had just been too full of things, of emo things, of tall boys with tattoos so that he didn’t even think of thinking anything, which wasn’t good for his creativity as he had already procrastinated all the weeks before this week too. Well, at least he hadn’t ignored the thing on purpose, right? And Nicky was already in a better mood, so it probably wasn’t a bad thing to not do everything all the time.

 

* * *

 

Yeah, Jeremy was a hopeless romantic, he thought, writing _“Why?”_ in sugar on top of the chocolate cake he just baked, that Laila had specifically asked for. Laila should have her existential sweets, but she didn’t know the cake was actually not chocolate on the inside, but a simple biscuit, whose rainbow colours hopefully didn’t turn into brown mush like the last time Jeremy had attempted a rainbow cake.

It was almost eight pm, and Laila still wasn’t home. He was just about to call her when the doorbell rang. After quickly washing his hands and failing to get some flour off his freshly washed black sweater he crossed the small living room and opened the door.

“Hi, Renee,” He said and hugged her in greeting. Behind her was Allison, who was looking breathtaking as always, and a couple that Jeremy had never seen before.

He stepped aside to let them in, hugging Allison too and shaking the hands of Dan, a fierce but friendly looking girl with dark skin and curly, short hair, and Matt, who seemed as sweet as he was tall. His skin was dark too, but his hair was straight and long enough to be pulled up into a man bun. His smile was wide and Jeremy instantly liked him.

“I also invited Andrew and his family,” Renee informed him, “but they couldn’t come, so I brought Dan and Matt, some of our oldest friends.”

“Nice to meet you, and welcome,” Jeremy said. “I’m just gonna put the cake in the fridge now, make yourselves at home.

“I brought some tea,” Renee said and held up a package.

“You’re the best,” Jeremy replied. “I totally forgot we ran out of tea yesterday.”

Allison giggled. “I swear my girlfriend is an actual angel.” She kissed Renee’s temple and Jeremy laughed along with his friends.

A few minutes later they were drinking tea around the coffee table, discussing what movie to watch. Dan and Allison wanted a horror movie, Renee wanted to watch The Hunger Games, and Matt jokingly proposed Twilight – but any other vampire movie would be appreciated.

“What about Disney?” Jeremy dared say, and was surprised at Dan’s and Allison’s immediate approval.

That’s when the doorbell rang and Jeremy went to answer.

It was Jean.

Except that he was wearing eyeliner and his hair fell into his face.

“Hi,” Jean said with a soft voice, and Jeremy realised that he was staring.

He closed his mouth and stepped aside. “I’m happy you could make it.”

“Thanks for inviting me. I brought some wine,” he said, stepping out of his shoes and lifting a bag.

“Um,” Jeremy said smartly as he and Jean sat down on the (new) black pillows on the light green carpet around the coffee table with the (new) black table cloth.

Jean looked at the cups of tea and the small biscuits Dan had brought and furrowed his brows. “Why is there no alcohol?”

“Because alcohol is poison?” Jeremy said, and furrowed his brows too. “I mean, um, since you brought something, maybe later we can drink some?”

“That’s why people drink it,” Jean murmured. “ _Because_ it’s poison.”

“We have cake?” He offered, well aware that it sounded kind of helpless. But hey, cake can heal all wounds. From his peripheral vision he thought he saw Renee smiling.

“Now, _that_ is real poison,” Jean said, “I thought Kevin said you were an Exy player in High School? You should know about healthy food.”

“Cake _is_ healthy food,” Laila said from the door. Behind her, Alvarez was holding grocery bags. “But chocolate is _even healthier,”_ she continued, “which is why we bought enough for the next month!”

“Which movie are we watching?” Alvarez inquired, as she and Laila sat down into their circle and helped themselves to some tea.

“We’re caught between Vampires and Disney, I think,” Allison answered.

“I’ll get the cake,” Jeremy said and got up.

He took his time cutting the cake up carefully as to keep the writing legible, and brought out some plates and forks first, before setting the cake down on the table between his still arguing guests.

Laila had gone around to light up her black candles, and when she turned the lights off Alvarez cooed and Laila dramatically kissed her.

That was followed by a collective _oooooooh_ and Jeremy couldn’t help but smile.

“So, Jean doesn’t know what Lilo and Stitch is,” said Allison to Jeremy, “and we need your vote on it, because Only Lovers Left Alive is way too emo, and these candles are already emo enough...”

“Only Lovers Left Alive is a good movie!” Matt said, at the same time as Laila said “You can never have enough emo in life.”

“But you’re not even emo?”

“Why is nobody questioning the cake?” Jean asked, gesturing wildly.

“Because it’s already questioning itself, obviously,” Jeremy answered kindly and started putting pieces of it on the plates. Laila screamed a bit when she noticed the rainbow colours, which weren’t brown, thank god.

“The cake looks really good, Jeremy,” Renee said. “Personally I would vote for Lilo and Stitch, but I must warn you that I will cry.”

“Me too,” Allison said. “I always cry.”

Jeremy sighed. “So do I.”

“I cry, too,” said Dan.

“Me too! Let’s watch it then!” Laila got up to get her laptop, the discussion settled.

Matt sighed and said something about not needing to cry when Vampires were involved but was silenced by Dan, who said that she indeed cried at Twilight, because Alice and Jesper hadn’t been the main characters.

 

* * *

 

Two hours, a lot of cake and chocolate later, everybody was crying.

“That was really nice, we need to do it again sometime,” Dan said after she had calmed down a bit, Matt beside her still crying silent tears.

“It was so cool that you could come,” Laila said and hugged them. After Dan and Matt had hugged everyone, they left, and Laila and Alvarez disappeared into Laila’s room. (Jeremy had caught a glimpse of black bed sheets that morning but he had decided to _just not ask.)_

Renee, Allison and Jean insisted on helping to clean everything up, so just a few minutes later everything was clean again and Renee was hugging Jeremy goodbye.

“I really liked your cake,” Allison said as she hugged Jeremy, too. “But you need to seriously stop with the black clothes and whatever aesthetic you have going on. It doesn’t go with your skin tone.”

“Thanks, Allison,” he said.

“Happiness is something like a treasure,” Renee said softly, and Jeremy wasn’t sure to who she was talking to. “The trick is to notice when it’s right in front of you.”

“See you on Sunday!”

Then it was just Jean and him standing across from each other, and in the flickering candlelight, Jeremy thought he was beautiful. The... candle... light... his eyes widened and then he was running around, putting out the candles that were still burning.

When he turned to Jean, Jean was holding the last of the candles between his fingers, almost lovingly.

Smiling, Jeremy walked up to him until he was close enough to count Jean’s eyelashes, but far enough to not catch fire. From that distance, the bird on Jean’s cheek seemed more like an abstract splash of ink, but beautiful nonetheless.

“Wanna see my room? I promise it doesn’t have any black in it,” he joked, satisfied when the corners of Jean’s lips turned up. That smile was really something else.

Without waiting for an answer, he turned around and opened his bedroom door. His bedroom was small, like the rest of the apartment, except. Yellow. So much yellow. There wasn’t much yellow in the living room, except in the pastel rainbow flag, but here, well. From Bed sheets to curtains to the stuffed Lion next to his pillow. Yellow. Wait. The lion was visible and not buried under his blanket? _Oh sheet,_ Jeremy thought.

“I thought the emo thing was fake from the beginning, you know?” Jeremy looked up at Jean and was in awe at the big smile on his face. “I was so confused, because you’re a literal ball of sunshine, and you might look handsome in black, but your hair is just too yellow.”

Jeremy wrinkled his nose and pouted. “I bleach it. But thanks? I guess?”

“It’s okay. To be honest, I’m actually happy your friend dragged you into the cafe.”

Jeremy deliberately took the candle out of Jean’s hands and put it on his night stand. “I think I’m gonna be one of your regulars from now on, you know?”

“I look forward to it,” Jean said and slowly took Jeremy’s hands between his.

“I’m never gonna wear black again, though,” Jeremy laughed breathlessly.

“As long as you’re comfortable,” Jean took a step closer, the tips of their toes now almost touching.

“I might want to steal some of your clothes though, if you don’t mind.”

“I think I own too many black things anyway.”

“Good.”

“Can I –“

“Wait, Jean – I mean, before we do this, I want you to know...”

“Is this about you being ace?”

“H-how do you know?”

“Kevin mentioned it. He also mentioned that nobody would ever find my body if I tried something you don’t like.”

“Oh.”

“Are you okay with this though? We don’t have to –“

“I’m super okay with kissing! And holding hands! And cuddling! And with doing all these other couple things, just not anything sexual, really.”

“I’m okay with that, Jeremy. I’m great with that.”

“Good, um, okay. Can we kiss already?”

“Thought you’d never ask.”

 

**Author's Note:**

> Weeeeeeee  
> Kudos and comments are appreciated!  
> Thanks for reading :)


End file.
